I just noticed that the front page of the ECW on Sci-Fi Blog is pretty much one big sausage fest right now. Not that there’s anything wrong with covering the latest Andrew Martin debacle, but our site statistics lead me to believe that most of you are really here for scantily clad divas.

I haven’t featured ECW diva Lena Yada much since she first joined the company several months ago. Seems to me Lena is a pretty good cure for a testosterone heavy front page, so here are a few pics of Lena Yada from a recent WWE studio shoot.

More photos from this studio shoot and earlier ones can be found on WWE.com.  Enjoy!

D-Von Dudley teams with hardcore wrestling underachiever Axl Rotten to take on then ECW tag team champs The Gangstas. D-Von and Axl are interupted pre-match by the BWO whom they promptly beat down.

The Gangstas and D-Von and Axl put on a blood bath of a match including a little Stevie kick action toward the end. Like all these matches it’s edited for brevity, but you’ll get almost ten minutes of old school wrestling entertainment.

The Gangstas recently reunited for a show for XPW where several, shall we say underemployed ECW alumni also appeared.

Steve Richards was doing a tech blog, but it hasn’t been updated since April. I hope he hasn’t given up on it.

New Jack and Mustafa supposedly have MySpace pages now, but we can’t guarantee their authenticity.

In a MySpace blurb today, Andrew “Test” Martin demonstrated that he’s still got it. And by “it,” I of course mean the potential to make good decisions.

Following an unfortunate incident that involved a bizarre rant posted on his MySpace profile, Martin has changed the password and isn’t sharing it with everyone and their respective mothers. He wrote:

What’s up all! Since I’m the only one with the password to this site now, all the wrestling sites can quote me on what is said here.

Apologies for the length, but here’s the rest of Martin’s newest blurb in which he describes the minutiae of his daily life and praises girlfriend Barbie Blank (ECW’s Kelly Kelly) for sticking by him and keeping him in line:

Not much has been going on really,just enjoying the life. A typical day for Andrew…I get up by 830 am have my cofee some food and watch sports center. My girl gets up at about 1130 after only about 12 hours of sleep, don’t get me wrong I’m jealous I wish I could sleep like that. We’ll go out to the pool, go get something to eat and of course her favourite go to the mall. I like the mall too but at 6ft7 I already stick out and then when people realize”it’s Test” I must answer the same questions over and over again and believe me, Big grumpy Test is gone and I do love my fans..all three of them.lol but I never got into wrestling for the fame or the money{although I’m not complaining about the money} I got into wrestling because I love it and yes of course I miss it but there were certain things in my life I had to take care of 1st. I didn’t want to be another statistic. After the mall I’ll eat again, Babs just watches in disbelief at the amount of food I eat but I love it. I usually make it to the gym twice a day right now and have been hitting the weights and cardio pretty hard and yes all natural. I’m 275 in good shape and that’s cool with me. I get home make diner..yes Test cooks, if I didn’t I’d starve because my beautifull girl can’t cook and her only duty is to do the laundry which she does well…the rest I take care of. Thank god I had the right people investing my money for me or we wouldn’t be affording the lifestyle we do, which actually is pretty normal. Diners at nice restaurants, good movies and good games of cards which I always destroy her at but then she’ll want to go bowling and watch me gutter ball about 10times and she kicks my ass. I never thought I could be this happy with a girl ever. Babs may be a little younger but she keeps my big ass in line and has been there for me and stuck it out when I didn’t deserve it. We love TV. We both love UFC and to be honest I haven’t watched wrestling in god knows how long I have no clue as to what is going on and I of course get stuck watching The Girls Next door which cracks me up because I would love to see what goes on behind closed doors with those three young gold diggers…I mean nice young girls and Hef, who I am startin to think look like an exsumed corpse every week, now that I would pay money to see. I’ve commited to the sex and the city movie for her this week but then again she did see Iron man with me which was kick ass. I still talk to the boys who give a shit and there’s not to many but Kevin Nash, Tommy Dreamer, Jay Reso, Bubba Dudley, Mick foley, Maven are the boys I still consider good friends, especially Kev, he’s always been a good friend to me. I have an opporunity to work somewhere I have always wanted to work and they seem as excited to have me come in as I am to work for them. I don’t want to jinxs anyhing but I hope this really works out as there’s a lot of gas left in the tank…and no not that kinda gas, that’s running on empty. I fill my days with Gracie style ju jitsu and striking classes here in Tampa where they take great care of me and no! I’m not trying to get into the UFC or anything like that, it’s strickly for the work out which is great. I’ve heard some great things about Scott Hall and how great he’s looking and doing well. Scott was the only guy I never got to work with who I always wanted to. To me he’s one of the greatest ever. That’s all for now it’s about 10am so my girl should be up in about 3 hours. Thanks to everyone for all their concerns over the past 8 months especially Kev and Jay who made me realize how many people do care about me but most of all thanks to Babs for puting up with my shit and sticking by me…I’m a lucky guy and thanks to all the fans. I feel like I’m 23 again and everything is falling back into place…life is good! All the best..Andrew

Somewhere in that very, very, very long paragraph, Andrew Martin refers to a new opportunity to work somewhere he’s always wanted (that’s not UFC.) Any guesses?

We don’t mention Boogeyman much here on the ECW on Sci-Fi Blog. Just the thought of his toothless, worm guzzling schtick is enough to make us give up watching ECW altogether.

Luckily Boogeyman and his repellent gimmick have been sidelined by a torn calf for several months. It’s not clear when Boogeyman will make his return to the ring, but WWE merchandising have released a 17 inch Boogeyman plush bear for you to snuggle up with at night.

The bear is kinda cute if you can manage to block out the memory of Boogeyman drooling worms into Striker’s mouth. I’m feeling a little nauseous just thinking about it … I think we need a little Kelly Kelly chaser to cleanse our mental palates.

Note: read all the way to the end to see an update from Andrew Martin.

Sounds like fightin’ words to me. In yet another deranged fit of drunk blogging, former WWE wrestler Andrew “Test” Martin called the Ultimate Warrior a “1st class piece of shit” today.

At least I think Martin was talking about Warrior - read his latest, seemingly drug-fueled MySpace diatribe (if you can make heads or tails of it) and tell me if I’m reading it right:

I’m not going to br sing this as a wrestling formum nyore but I will say this,,,thrE Ultimate Warirr is coming bacj, I;m 33 and barely remember who he as and thry expect the average san of to dat to remember wg..ho he is. I rememer Warior as the guy who ran to the ring he was so bown up he couln;t do anyhing in the ring,I remembr when Warrior opened up warrior university and at the ime I actually thought it was way to ake it nto pro westling yhat was until I met my idol zzzzzzzzzzzzzzbret hart and I’ll never forget as long a I live brets exact words”warrior coulnn’t even put youin a headlock, let alone teachyou how to put u in one. Brets gret guy who always hs a funny stry to tell. Now this story Bret told me about the Warrrior I have ahd no chuckle just disgust and wouldn’t mind putting an old washedup ma i his place. as the story goes to Bret the hild who was brouht in the back because his dream was to see th Ultimate Warriop buy of course Warrior had no time for him not vrn a pvture ur an autraph and thr kids dream ws to met this piese uf shit and he went out in the crowd without a care in the worl, excuse my language but you are a 1st class piece of shit. and you think you are goinh to draw peole yu couldn’t draw flys when Hogan graciouly hande you yh brlt. Younever loved wrestlinh like all of uds you wre there for thr payday and that’s wy Hogan had to come baxk and yuwere wearing a singlet wit muscles painted om lke we couldnt tell u werent on the juice, there ar thoseho need juice and those that don’t. You neded an iv hooked up to you. Im my mind you wanted toplay the sould00000000000000000000000000000000 you loved likemfootballand so on. You must have realized prtty quick you suckd but you could have gotten beter 000000000000000000000000000it bestwhen he tld me how was Igoimgto learn anything at wrrioys

Criticism of Warrior aside, this tirade is barely written in English and is clearly not the writing of a sane and sober person. This isn’t the first time a nonsensical rant has appeared on Andrew Martin’s MySpace page, but it is his first truly psychotic-sounding episode of MySpace oversharing.

A few exit questions:

1. WTF?

2. How the hell does Andrew Martin manage to get Barbie Blank to stay with him?

3. Are we really supposed to believe that Andrew Martin isn’t a substance abuser?

4. Can someone please show Andrew Martin how to use the MySpace blogging feature so that he can write real posts instead of periodically changing his blurb?

Update, 5/25/2008:

Andrew Martin has posted a new MySpace blurb implying that the bizarre nonsense quoted above was written by another person who has access to his account.   This is not the first time in recent months that Martin has removed a MySpace blurb and blamed the writing on someone else.

For the sake of posterity (since Andrew Martin tends to remove his MySpace blurbs with some frequency), here’s what he (or someone?) wrote today:

It has been brought to my attention that something was written on here about the Ultimate Warrior. To make things clear there are many people who have assess to my, myspace account to keep it updated. Some of those people I do not even speak to anymore. I don’t know the Ultimate Warrior, I ave never met him, so really have nothing bad to say about the guy. I know he made a lot of fans happy when he was champion and was a unique character. Those who do know him have told me stories but that’s what they re just stories. I heard he was making a return in spain and if that’s tu I wonder if he will still have the nastalgia feel like a Hulk Hogan does when he appears. Just so ypu know it’s me I will never write about another wrestler or write too much about wrestling..takecare

Honestly, I’m not buying it, but let’s pretend for a moment that I am.  I’m no Internet security genius, but Andrew, sounds like it’s time to change your freakin’ password.  Oh, and stop giving out your login info to people you can’t trust.