Note: read all the way to the end to see an update from Andrew Martin.

Sounds like fightin’ words to me. In yet another deranged fit of drunk blogging, former WWE wrestler Andrew “Test” Martin called the Ultimate Warrior a “1st class piece of shit” today.

At least I think Martin was talking about Warrior - read his latest, seemingly drug-fueled MySpace diatribe (if you can make heads or tails of it) and tell me if I’m reading it right:

I’m not going to br sing this as a wrestling formum nyore but I will say this,,,thrE Ultimate Warirr is coming bacj, I;m 33 and barely remember who he as and thry expect the average san of to dat to remember wg..ho he is. I rememer Warior as the guy who ran to the ring he was so bown up he couln;t do anyhing in the ring,I remembr when Warrior opened up warrior university and at the ime I actually thought it was way to ake it nto pro westling yhat was until I met my idol zzzzzzzzzzzzzzbret hart and I’ll never forget as long a I live brets exact words”warrior coulnn’t even put youin a headlock, let alone teachyou how to put u in one. Brets gret guy who always hs a funny stry to tell. Now this story Bret told me about the Warrrior I have ahd no chuckle just disgust and wouldn’t mind putting an old washedup ma i his place. as the story goes to Bret the hild who was brouht in the back because his dream was to see th Ultimate Warriop buy of course Warrior had no time for him not vrn a pvture ur an autraph and thr kids dream ws to met this piese uf shit and he went out in the crowd without a care in the worl, excuse my language but you are a 1st class piece of shit. and you think you are goinh to draw peole yu couldn’t draw flys when Hogan graciouly hande you yh brlt. Younever loved wrestlinh like all of uds you wre there for thr payday and that’s wy Hogan had to come baxk and yuwere wearing a singlet wit muscles painted om lke we couldnt tell u werent on the juice, there ar thoseho need juice and those that don’t. You neded an iv hooked up to you. Im my mind you wanted toplay the sould00000000000000000000000000000000 you loved likemfootballand so on. You must have realized prtty quick you suckd but you could have gotten beter 000000000000000000000000000it bestwhen he tld me how was Igoimgto learn anything at wrrioys

Criticism of Warrior aside, this tirade is barely written in English and is clearly not the writing of a sane and sober person. This isn’t the first time a nonsensical rant has appeared on Andrew Martin’s MySpace page, but it is his first truly psychotic-sounding episode of MySpace oversharing.

A few exit questions:

1. WTF?

2. How the hell does Andrew Martin manage to get Barbie Blank to stay with him?

3. Are we really supposed to believe that Andrew Martin isn’t a substance abuser?

4. Can someone please show Andrew Martin how to use the MySpace blogging feature so that he can write real posts instead of periodically changing his blurb?

Update, 5/25/2008:

Andrew Martin has posted a new MySpace blurb implying that the bizarre nonsense quoted above was written by another person who has access to his account.   This is not the first time in recent months that Martin has removed a MySpace blurb and blamed the writing on someone else.

For the sake of posterity (since Andrew Martin tends to remove his MySpace blurbs with some frequency), here’s what he (or someone?) wrote today:

It has been brought to my attention that something was written on here about the Ultimate Warrior. To make things clear there are many people who have assess to my, myspace account to keep it updated. Some of those people I do not even speak to anymore. I don’t know the Ultimate Warrior, I ave never met him, so really have nothing bad to say about the guy. I know he made a lot of fans happy when he was champion and was a unique character. Those who do know him have told me stories but that’s what they re just stories. I heard he was making a return in spain and if that’s tu I wonder if he will still have the nastalgia feel like a Hulk Hogan does when he appears. Just so ypu know it’s me I will never write about another wrestler or write too much about wrestling..takecare

Honestly, I’m not buying it, but let’s pretend for a moment that I am.  I’m no Internet security genius, but Andrew, sounds like it’s time to change your freakin’ password.  Oh, and stop giving out your login info to people you can’t trust.