After months of teasers, former ECW superstar Rob Van Dam finally announced the official launch of his web-based show RVD TV today via MySpace, and guess what:

It’s a pay site.

To paraphrase Christian Slater in True Romance: did RVD suddenly sprout big tits and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice-cream?

Pay sites are for hot chicks, usually those willing to take their clothes off. (Although ECW fantasy draft pick Tara Bush has a super hot pay site that gets subscribers whether she takes her clothes off or not.)

As a member of RVD TV, apparently you’ll benefit by getting to know “the real RVD” and gaining “insight to spiritual growth.”

Did I mention this isn’t a joke? Here are your payment options:

$1.99 gets you a single RVD TV video with a 24 hour limited viewing window.

$9.99 nabs you one month of unlimited access to the RVD TV video library with no contract, including Rob Van Dam’s 5 Star Workout series, his “Friends in High Places” celebrity interview videos, and various bits of additional footage of “RVD interacting with life.”

$99.99 is the one year fee. In addition to the benefits of the $9.99 package, you get an unspecified “MORE” plus a personalized RVD 8 x 10 photo.

Sorry Rob, but most guys we know are waiting for pay sites from Shelly Martinez and Trinity, not RVD 4:20.