While other Americans were burning flags, decrying the tactics of fighting terrorism or tempting fate with M-80’s, E.C.W.’s Kelly was preparing a patriotic display that was destined to cause generous swellings of pride in red-blooded Americans everywhere.

During the 196 hour Twilight Zone marathon that seems to air anytime a holiday threatens to thin out Sci-Fi’s herd, Kelly had paint applied to her torso, grabbed her best red thong and American flag towel and waited. Then, when the time was right, she proceeded to perform a burlesque routine so passionately pro-American, so drenched in love of country that the gods themselves stood at attention, placed their hands over their hearts and pledged undying allegiance to the United States of America.

In this viewer’s humble opinion, formed as I openly wept at the glory pouring forth form the flickering screen, this was Barbie Blank’s finest hour.

Here at E.C.W. on Sci-Fi, we’ve had our share of fun at Barbie’s expense. We’ve criticized her dancing, made sport of the cattiness from other women she’s had to endure, even chided fans for lusting after her due to her tender age. But on that fateful day all our criticisms were silenced and for long hours afterward, which turned into days, we were so overwhelmed by her dancing that none dared to even post a link to it. We felt, in a word, unworthy, and were wholly unprepared to speak of the numinous wonder we’d just witnessed.

After all, what could be said? That it was a stellar performance? That Kristina Laum herself couldn’t have done any better? That there was no better representation of America, or her precious freedoms, aired that day? These points all seem obvious, like saying the sun warms the earth or rain is wet. That “Kelly” in one small segment has become the greatest W.W.E. diva of all time? Again this is too obvious to mention.

Instead, all that can be said, is thank you Barbie Blank, thank you.

Barbie Blank, now known as Kelly Kelly in the E.C.W. (gotta love that creative team), will be appearing every Tuesday on the Sci-Fi channel, and though not confirmed, we hear at the Rump Garden off rt 280, exit 5.

Just kidding, there is no Rump Garden, but Barbie’s site is up, and there’s also a great fan site dedicated to our favorite barely legal model/actress.

Well done, Barbie!