An article in the Winnipeg Sun heaps praise on the new ECW for Paul E.’s “visionary” leadership. Author Tim Baines was apparently especially impressed with the Unpredictability (!?!) of the show, ending his piece with, “It’s that unpredictability which makes it compelling TV. Thanks, Paul.”

Wow.

By unpredictable, I assume Baines means completely predictable and the confusion comes from him using the French, rather than English, definition of the word. Of course unpredictable in French means that one would know something was going to happen but hoped it wouldn’t. It is similar to the French use of the word “ally” as one who undermines you in world affairs or “equality” as the ghettoization of non-whites in lawless Paris suburbs.

Let’s at least be honest, the WWE owned ECW is as predictable as the calls of vote rigging will be if there’s another Republican president in ‘08.

Here’s a list of some of the most unpredictable television ECW’s provided us:

1. An attractive blonde would be hired to wear skimpy outfits
2. The attractive brunette would be evil
3. Wrestlers the WWE didn’t want to release, but also didn’t want to use on RAW or SMACKDOWN would be sent to ECW
4. ECW alumni would be jobbed, severely
5. ECW would be the highest rated show on Sci-Fi

No, I didn’t see any of that coming. That Paul E’s a damn genius.

Or Tim Baines is a filthy, fawning Frenchman.