(”Oh Lord, save me from my followers!”)

Kristina Laum fans have all wondered where one time ECW icon, and the woman with the worst luck in wrestling history, has ended up. Rumors are that when the XWF folded and work got scarce she returned to her earlier career as an exotic dancer; this being a less sleazy alternative to dealing with Paul Hayman and WWE.

And out of respect for one of the greatest entertainers ever to be produced on the independent circuit, we left it at that; secretly praying we’d run into her at some club or another, and happy to peruse the occasional post about her on the ‘net’s greatest wrestling/sci-fi blog.

Enter the boy over at QuestforKimona.com who are offering a $100 cash reward for anyone to turn over information on our beloved heroine. It seems they are desperate to see her in person, hopefully on their part in some sort of Strip club. They could be some of the most devoted fans around

Or they’re crazed stalkers.

I’m sure they’re nice people but the obsessive quest to find Kristina in the Motherland, which is frankly home to more strippers than all the other states combined, has a whiff of the Gein about it.

We have access to some rumors about her whereabouts, but it’ll take more then a measly $100 to get us to sell out Kristina.

In fact, I think I’m going to warn her myself.

(After receiving a call from ECW on Sci-Fi, Kristina Laum calls a friend for support.)

(A recently outed Bat-Woman lends a sympathetic ear.)

Don’t worry Kristina, your friend’s got your back.