Every once in a while, a kid is born and you just know his life is going to be an uphill struggle every step of the way. It’s a pretty safe bet Balls Mahoney’s kid is one of those children.

On Thanksgiving day (November 22, 2007), Balls Mahoney’s girlfriend gave birth to a 9 pound boy, Christopher. The poor kid never had a chance. As soon as his schoolmates find out who his dad is, Christopher is going to be called “Little Balls,” “Tiny Balls,” or one of those equally uncreative epithets that kids love to toss around.

EoS congratulates Balls on the birth of Christopher. We hope the name sticks!